


Lost and found

by Alienor_Gauthier



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Let them take thing one step at a time you perverts, M/M, Too much alcohol, Too much feelings, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Yes I have no imagination for titles, after series, but actually no porn, resolved emotional tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25950865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alienor_Gauthier/pseuds/Alienor_Gauthier
Summary: On their road to make Roy Fuhrer, Riza died. Everyone is devastated, of couse, but Roy most of all, so much that he can't get back on his feet. It was Riza's job to get him up when he fell and now... no one is stepping up to fill her shoes.Well, almost no one. Ed never backed up from a challenge, did he ?
Relationships: Edward Elric & Roy Mustang, Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Lost and found

She was giving him a reproachful stare. Always. He couldn't remember her smiling. Ever.  
And now he would never have the chance to see her do that.  
"Of course she did, what the fuck are you talking about. She wasn't, like, grinning, but she smiled a lot"  
"Not at me" he muttered, before realising : "What are you doing in my house, Fullmetal ? How did you came in ?"  
And did he somehow found a way to alchemicaly read thought ?  
Ed gave him a weird look.  
"You're talking to yourself. I guess that's why you never drink that much at the pub"  
It was. Damn him.  
"How did you came in ?" He repeated.  
This time, his look was evasive.  
"Through the door..."  
Roy let his head roll back on the sofa. Knowing him, that was a literal.  
"Is my door still functional ?"  
"I put it back just the way it was, with all your arrays and locks!" He said, affronted. "Well, maybe I did improve one or two while I was at it, I'll draw that to you later"  
Of course he did. Damn clever kid.  
Ah, the weird look was back, he must have said that out loud.  
Ed cleared his throat.  
"Anyway..."  
He looked at Roy, still in his funeral shirt, bloodshot eyes, a stubble that was so advanced it was starting to look like a beard, rather. A pained feeling squeezed his heart but he locked it away. Mustang didn't need compassion. He needed someone to shake him and put him back to work. That had been Riza's job. It would never be again. Someone had to do it. He had waited for someone else to do it, but they were all devastated, no one had stepped up and, well, it had to be done. Now. He steeled himself.  
"She wouldn't want you to let yourself fall apart like that, you know"  
"Fucking get out of here or I'll burn you to a crisp, Fullmetal"  
That went well. This was exactly why he hadn't wanted to do it.  
"In your state ?" He tauted "More like you'll burn yourself and your house"  
"Maybe I should do just that" muttered Mustang, like the idea didn't seem so grim. That made Ed actually mad.  
"What the fuck is wrong with you ! You can't let her death unravel all our work ! That's precisely why she died ! So you could go on and achieve something, everything you said you were going to, since way before I was even doing alchemy ! Are you going to let her death be meaningless ?!"  
Roy made a sound like someone just stabbed him and Ed's heart gave another painful squeeze that he did his best to ignore. Mustang made a move for the bottle again, one that wasn't already empty that is, and Ed snached it away.  
"Mustang. Get on with it"  
"...I can't. I- Right now, I can't. I need- I need time to-"  
Ed approached cautiously, like he would have a hurt animal, one that had teeth and claws and could lash out. He tried to take a more gentle voice but he just wasn't wired for that.  
"I know. We all- But you had time to mourn. Now you have to get back in the fight. Later will be to late"  
Roy catched his eyes and he had a flashback of Hugues, telling him almost the same thing in Ishbal and it hurt, it hurt so much that he was loosing all his friends. Some of it must have shown on his face because Ed faltered, and for a moment he looked young and like he was in above his head.  
From somewere, Riza was giving him a disapproving look, like always.  
"I can't tell you how to deal with it" Ed was saying, from far away, "We all do in different ways. But whatever you need to do, do it now and get back in the office. We can't go on without you !"  
He felt sad and tired and like he would drown in his own guilt and he couldn't shoulder that responsibility now, he couldn't. He looked again at the young alchemist and felt angry and torn, like he wanted to hit him and protect him and maybe ask him a hug or something and from the middle of all of that, what came out was :  
"I usually deal with it by fucking someone. You in ?"  
And that was wrong, in so many ways he couldn't count them in his intoxicated state. He turned away, unable to face him to see his reaction.  
Ed stayed silent for so long he actually thought he had gave up on him and was gone, when he finally said :  
"Ok"  
Mustang straightened up so sharply he almost threw up from his own motion sickness. He stared.  
"...What...?"  
"I said ok !" snapped Ed. "If that's what you need now, yeah, I'm in !"  
He had drove him into that corner. He hadn't thought that possible but he actually felt worse.  
"No... Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I- Even this drunk, I hope you know I would never force you to-"  
"When could you ever force me to do anything I didn't wanna do ? Don't give yourself this much credit" scoffed the younger.  
Roy stared some more. Eventually, Ed lost patience and trew his coat on a chair to come and loom over him, just a breath away.  
"So ? What's it gonna be, Roy ?"  
He knew it was wrong, wrong. Ed was barely major and his subordinate and he somewhat raised him so it was quasi incestuous but he couldn't help it. It was comfort and oblivion offered and he reached for it. For him.  
He was on the couch above him and they were kissing and it was still wrong, but it was good, in a sort of new kind of way. Fresh an clumsy. And then it hit him and he pulled back.  
"What." asked Ed, immediately on the defensive.  
"Have you..." The words were evading him, probably drowned by all the cheap alcohol he had poured on them. He tried again. "Is... this your first time ?"  
Ed looked like he wanted to hit him, bad. He hissed like an angry cat :  
"So what ! I've been kind of busy you know ? Getting my brother back and then saving the world and then hauling your ass on the Fuhrer seat ! There is only so many hours a day !"  
"Ed... That's not what I-"  
He felt helpless. This wasn't a conversation he had wanted to have, ever, much less in this state, in the position they were in and this was wrong, wrong. If Riza hadn't died protecting the worthless person he was, she sure as hell would kill him herself right now.  
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you never experiencing this. That is utterly not what I meant to say"  
"So what ?"  
"I-" I'm way too drunk for this conversation. But that wasn't what he needed to say right now. Wasn't that what Ed came to tell him ? That he couldn't avoid his responsibilities ?  
"Look. I'm not going to say to you that sex is a sacred thing you need to keep only for your forever lover but- The first time at least should be with someone you love"  
"You're a sap. Also, you're an idiot"  
"Maybe" he said with regret, retreating.  
Ed clenched his metal hand on his shirt, with a grip that was iron for more than one reason.  
"You fucking moron" he growled in his face. "It would be !"  
His eyes were so sharp Roy felt it like a blade inside him and it opened him up all the way through that Ed, Ed who had that moral compass in a steel more strong that his arm and leg would say that to _him_ , with all he knew and him reeking alcohol in a five-day shirt, hiding in his home. It openend him up and all that pain he was keeping inside just poured out and he cried, helplessly, while Ed held him clumsily.

"...I'm sorry for-" there was too much things to list.  
"Don't be" said Ed, a bit awkward. "It's ok. Are you- Do you feel... ok now ?" He didn't say better and Roy was grateful for it because then he could answer :  
"Yes. Thank you"  
There was an uncomfortable pause and then Ed said, quietly :  
"I wasn't lying just to make you feel better, just so you know"  
"I know you never lie"  
"To friends, no I don't"  
There was another pause. This time again, Ed lost patience.  
"So what now ? Like you said, it's not like I'm an expert here !"  
Roy bit his lip, trying to think faster than his brain could at the moment.  
"Why don't we... give it a bit of time. I should- well, shower and sleep, for a start, and then... Catch up with work, because you were right, of course, in all you said. And then we could... next week, maybe, go out to eat somewhere ?"  
"Are you asking me on a date ?" said Ed like he couldn't believe it.  
"Can't I ?"  
"No you can, it's just- Well, you- I didn't thought- "  
"That I would be interested in something more than a quick fuck that we never talk about again ?" said Roy, mildly.  
"...I guess"  
"So is that a no then ?"  
"No ! I mean, yes ! I mean- Stop laughing you maniac, I'm going to hit you !"  
Roy catched the fist going at him weakly and kissed the inside of Ed's wrist. The younger retreated his hand like he had been burned. Roy had the decency to not point out they almost did a lot more.  
"Did you say next week to let me time to change my mind ? Because I won't"  
"I'll be delighted if you don't. But no, like I said, I need to catch up with work"  
The tension seemed to flow out of the younger alchemist and the relief was written all over his face. Roy wanted to apologize again. He wanted to kiss him. He settled to say :  
"Would you help me up the stairs ? I don't think I trust myself not to break my neck right now"  
"Would be a fucking shame after all this" grumbled Ed, allowing him to put his arm around his shoulders.  
"Wouldn't it"  
"...You reek of alcohol, by the way. No wine on our date"  
"What are we going to drink then, milk ?"  
"I'll throw you down the stairs, Mustang"  
Roy turned his head and brushed his lips on Ed's temple. The younger flinched, strengthenend his hold on him.  
"I feel like you'll use that kind of argument to win fights in the futur" he muttered.  
"I have to use all the tools at my disposal to succeed"  
"You're hopless" said Ed, with something almost fond, letting him fall on his bed. "I'm setting your alarm at 8, I'm expecting you at the office at 9 sharp or I'm gonna go get you out of bed myself. You hear me, Mustang ?  
He had a flashback of Riza, on the threshold of his house, saying something similar and he closed his eyes as if it could block off the overwhelming feeling of loss. He felt himself drift off almost instantly. Ed poked him and he mumbled, to both of them :  
"Hmm, hmm. Love you too"  
And then he was out.  
He dreamt of Ed and him bickering while Riza shaked her head, without managing to hide her smile.

In the morning, on his way out, he found a little note with the modifications on the door's arrays. There was also a lot of words starting with L and O that were crossed, under which was just written "Don't be late !". He hadn't thought he would ever again and yet, he found himself smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm french so please feel free to point any english mistake


End file.
